In this period another turning point occurred in my artworks and that was discovering the first personal subject in my paintings (and then drawings). During 1384 – 1388 and shifting from abstract to reality, an issue that I was always dealing with was finding real subjects, compatible with my painting style and forms. So, in November 1388, I found the subject in my dreams.
In my dream, some skeletons with cold and dazzling lights were dancing in darkness. I woke up with a great excitement and I discovered something new. The skeletons were my missing people. A skeleton was the most conceptual real phenomena and the realest abstract form. In fact, a skeleton is real, but as the characters are hidden under flesh and skin of people, it has a conceptual dimension. I started to draw what I had seen in my dreams. At first, the colors were exactly the same as what I had experienced in my dream, but as I was completing the pictures, I had a great excitement and this became a way of expressing my extreme feelings for three years. Dead bodies, with blood, flesh, skin and bones. I had never experienced such excitement and anger before. This way, I experienced expressive painting in my life. After that, none of my paintings had so much expressive features to show my internal feeling. In this period, I exhibited some of my paintings named “ Piadeh Nezam” in Tarahan Azad gallery ( winter 1390). Based on the theme and the furious subject, the colors were red mostly. considering subject, the paintings of dead bodies and skeletons have two main points.
First, for many years wounded, lynched and buried alive people cases and seeing horrible pictures of world wars and local victims and occupied my mind and then I was able to show my hatred toward this matter by my expressive paintings. The second point is related to the trophy form of these cases. When I was child, I always escaped from disgusting matters, and I wasn’t able to look at such pictures directly. Actually, drawing skeletons and bloody bodies was a kind of trophy for me. It seemed that I was drawing the things I had never dared to look at, to show my feeling toward differently and control or cure them.
In fact, painting such things is a kind of response. Response to retreat and fears and compensating them. For the first time at my forties I felt like being stable, considering both form and content.